I think more and more at the psychological games we play into the love relationships ... and it's funny cause even if we deny it ... many times we just do that ... unconsciously.
And i could also say it's ridiculous ... cause even people that have a psychological knowledge ... can't really notice those games .... while being inside a love story.
I must admit ... that personally ... no matter how much i would study the subject … while being in the story ... i was totally blinded by details which i could not understand.
... or maybe better said ... accept.
You see ... i can't really say about myself that i am too smart ... but on the other hand i can't say that i am an idiot ... or maybe ... so idiot ... as i might look like.
But ... i always also pay attention at what other people whisper me.
I am many times annoyed of what i am hearing ... but
meditating ... i dare to ask myself ... what if they are right?!
Recently ... I've discussed again with my friend David ... who is a well know psychologist in Los Angeles.
And ... we've talked about 2 hours ... analysing a case of jealousy which he is working at today.
The weird thing ... was that this couple had an amazing relationship... all being perfect ... or almost perfect.
But ... one day they decided to call David and have few therapy sessions with him.
It looked like ... even if they were good lovers ... good friends ... and they both considered that the moments spent together are the best a couple can experience ... it happened as randomly... she was connecting to another man in front of him ... speaking and illusory inducing to that man the idea that she likes him ... making her partner just drive crazy.
They spoke ... 1 time.
2,3 ... 8 ... 93 ... 138 times.
In fact ... even when all looked perfect ... these episodes keep repeating.
On and on ... and on.
He spoke politely to her.
He tried to explain nicely that those episodes ... were driving him crazy and that he will not tolerate that forever.
Unfortunately she just continued doing the same thing ... until all became a nonsense.
She could just not stop herself to make him jealous... adoring to connect to any man that appeared near her ... on the stage of their existence.
Not even when he told her that she is just ruining the beauty
of all they have together ... and is not possible to continue the relationship if she does not stop herself doing those non ending charades .... nothing happened.
It all continued to be the same.
They loved each other.
They stayed for hours together ... everyday ... talking and talking and talking.
They ... adored each other.
Unfortunately .... the nonsense continued ...
No matter what man interacted with her ... even if she was near her lover ... she induced all the time the sensation of being ... available .... having the attitude of an easy woman.
And ... not even if one day he annoyed him so, so much that he called her ... whore ... nothing changed.
So ... they decided to go at my friend David ... asking him .... "Doctor ... please ... me and my boyfriend we have a huge dilemma.
We balance between believing that i am a whore ... or he is extremely jealous ... or i just have an unconscious desire of randomly making him jealous.
The thing is ... that we can't continue anymore ... and we need psychological assistance from someone which understands deeply the relationship between a man and a woman."
David ... smiled to them.
He used to study lots of cases ... but this case was very weird ... because they really had an amazing love story.
After ... thinking and thinking and thinking .... David calls
them to his office and tells them ... "Listen ... i want you to
make an experiment together.
It's extremely important to do it ... and you need to trust me.
Linda ... you need to be with Jim into a quiet place and call one of those man who likes you.
But need to be a man who you like and feel attractive of ... even if you say that you love Jim so much ....
Let the phone ... on speaker so that Jim will hear all.
Meanwhile ... you ... Jim ... must start to touch and kiss her ... everywhere on her body.
Even ... start making love with her ... but allow her to continue speaking on the phone.
You ... Linda need to be opened ... relaxed ... and you ... Jim ... need to allow her to be like that.
Simple ... enjoy be together ... but also allow as the conversation with that man to be a nice friendly conversation.
Even if it might look ... as a flirt.
Go ... on ...
Overreact a little.
Deeply analyse and memorise your emotions.
In fact ... allow as the experience to be a menage a trois... enjoying the story of being into an abstract way with 2 men into the same time.
Then ... when all finish ... you ... Linda must tell to Jim if you've enjoyed being actually with 2 men into the same time ... and also making Jim jealous ... and what you've liked more.
You ... Jim ... must define if you felt humiliated and if you actually can endure and totally tolerate such episodes so that you can actually continue being together."
Linda and Jim ... smiled ... telling to David .... "I don't think we can do it."
My friend started to laugh ... replying ... "Then ... the moment when the break up will just happen ... don't be so surprised.
And that moment ... is going to come very soon."
The couple left the office ... refusing to pay the consultation ... and being totally annoyed.
4 weeks later ... Linda calls David and says ... "Doctor ... i've transferred you now the money for the last session we had together.
We've made ... the experiment.
We don't really know if i am a whore ... or i just don't love Jim enough ... or i just adore to make him jealous.
I can't clearly understand all what is going on ... but i know we need to analyse ourselves deeper.
Try to understand each other.
... but also accept the things we dislike and find a way in how we can continue our beautiful relationship ...
Most probably we need this damn jealousy ... cause we see it as a confirmation that we can't live one without another."
I found amazing the solution David found for his clients.
I was always trying to understand the atypical way of seeing all.
Most certainly ... many times .... jealousy it's an induced charade ... having the purpose to receive non stop …
confirmations of being loved by the partner ... and it's so funny to see their representations.
... and ridiculous ... of course.psychology of love
But ... more i speak with David ... more i understand that in love relationships ... even the beautiful ones ... we can't stop the unconscious side ... to ruin all.
And .... you know why?!
Maybe ... cause the human being is so, so idiotic that ... can't stop in front of this addiction of ruining all ... even the beautiful things from our lives.
So ...
Download the book ”Mr & Mrs FREUD
in love ... but still playing psychological games -
philosophical essays” written by the romanian essayist Adrian Dumitru for FREE.
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